Why Jealousy Relationships Are A Recipe For Disaster
Jealousy relationships can destroy any couple, employee and employer or friendship. Even sibling rivalry can be devastating. Jealousy relationships make your partner feel like they can not trust you – or that you do not trust them. Being jealous may be a natural reaction in some people. They may even feel they have a right to be jealous, but the truth is it’s a feeling that is unhealthy and needs to be removed from any existing relationship you may have.
It seems odd but some people like their partners to be jealous, or they themselves may enjoy being jealous within the relationship. Why might this be so? Well it seems that if the other person is jealous then they must care about you more. But the reality is different than this perceived untruth. The truth is they are likely angry, or at the very least annoyed, with the feelings and behaviors jealousy relationships bring about.
The need for attention is what is driving one partner to create jealousy within the other. This interaction between each other is extremely unhealthy. Unfortunately this mechanism for getting attention fills a need and often is acted out again and again within jealousy relationships.
Making comments such as, “A girl (or guy) I never met winked at me today” may seem innocent, but it is really said to provoke the other person. The person making such a comment may be totally unaware of their behavior and the meanings behind what they are saying – or at least appear to be unaware of what is happening. Again the reality is different than what is perceived.
The reason anyone says something like that in jealousy relationships is to get the pay-off. And the pay-off is attention and anger; — in short, they want a reaction.
And while the jealousy relationships may seem loving to a person the reality is it is filled with traps. It is filled with resentment, anger and mistrust. This isn’t really want you want your partner to be feeling — nor is it what you want your relationship to be.
You want the attention, affection, and love but without the anger, hurt, frustration and pain. Unfortunately you will likely get both – but not in a healthy way.
What you really want is a healthy attention.
Happiness and love is what you desire. But for some the jealousy evoked is thought of as a form of love. For some they don’t know what a healthy love is and any kind of attention is better than none.
We’ve all heard people say a comment like “if I can’t have her or him, no one else can”. No healthy individual wants to invoke possible anger or rage, but sadly it’s the way some people feel they are loved and it is often the very type of behavior you will find in jealousy relationships..
Healthy relationships are built on trust and each individual is secure in themselves and their partner. A jealousy built relationship develops through mistrust, fear, insecurity and envy.
Whether you want a healthy relationship or one built on negative feelings and emotions is entirely up to you. It’s a choice you need to decide for yourself – Do I want health or unhealthy? Do I want to live in a jealousy filled realtionship or not?
When your ready to explore what jealousy relationships are and how to overcome the jealousy in your relationships, join my free newsletter. When you’re ready for a healthy relationship and stop jealousy from ruling your life, check out my book. Either way you’ll be grateful you began to take steps to break the chains of jealousy relationships and took a step toward health.
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